I'm not too sure why I want to post something so raw & transparent on my public journal. Today I just feel a draw to do it. My raw, unfiltered thoughts. I love the idea that some people might read this & connect with it. But I also like being fully open instead of just talking about what's on the surface level.
I'm sat by myself in a cosy wee pub in rural Donegal drinking a pint after one of the most heart-warming days. No better time to reflect & write!
A few weeks ago I started a daily journal. Taking time out of the day to reflect & express gratitude for the little moments throughout the day that bring me joy. Setting intentions & trying to stick to my good habits. Really focus on what's going on in my brain.
The benefit this has had on my self awareness is incredible! I feel like I've been learning so much about myself. Doing the work to understand myself better.
Last year was an awful year for me for many reasons. I was continuously overwhelmed with stress, dealing with lots of grief in such a short space of time, relationships breaking down, friendships changing, financial worries, confidence shot, living aimlessly, wellbeing struggles, work issues & even more! When I think back I'm surprised I came out the other side of 2022 feeling somewhat together.
It was also my year of working towards my 52 Peaks in 52 Weeks challenge & honestly I think hiking was the main thing keeping me driven & my mental health afloat.
Fast forward 11 months down the line & I'm only just realising just how much I've been living in the shadow of 2022.
Without realising it, this year I've found myself chasing comfort. In the year I've finally moved into the van full time, making more room for adventure & exploration, what I've been actually craving is places & people that make me feel safe, sticking to habits that are good for the soul*. Without knowing it I've been subconsciously trying to heal.
(By the way, this doesn't mean I've been doing all those things healthily, some have been at a detriment to me - seeking comfort in the wrong places, focusing on the wrong habits etc etc.)
But most importantly my journal has shone a light on exactly how much the simple things bring my joy. Being in nature, quality time with people I care about & being creative is all I really need to feel on top of the world. The golden things!
I wrote down a list of the good habits that bring me joy every day, trying to incorporate as much of them into my daily routine as I can:
The days I do as many of these things as possible are the best days!
There's also a list of bad habits to avoid & things that are detrimental to my mental health. I know I'm being open & all, but that list is far too exposing to share on the internet. That's where I draw the line haha. Maybe one day I'll feel brave enough to lay myself completely out there.
Since journalling I've noticed there's days that I have repeated thoughts running through my brain:
- what brings me joy?
- what brings me guilt?
- what hinders me from reaching my goals?
- who and what do I want to surround myself with?
- do I want to do bigger travels abroad or do I just feel like that's what I should do?
- what do I want my day-to-day to look like?
- what is the difference between dwelling on the past & working through the past?
- what triggers me negatively?
Journalling has taught me to work through the answers to these internal questions instead of burying them, no matter how tough it is.
Back to the present - today has been an incredible day! One that's good for the soul. A day that's reminded me exactly what life is all about. It started with a lovely client meeting, reading, working from a coffee shop, a drive over to north Donegal, hiking up Dooish in the Derryveagh mountains, dancing to music in the van, journalling & bird research in a cosy rural pub over a pint, ending with a trad music session. Happy happy heart!
It's impossible to always stay feeling ontop of the world, but being more mindful every day is a great start.
Here's to good habits & nourishing the simple things.
eg x
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